Published October 20, 2011
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I always want to be around you.
Wherever you go, I will follow.
Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.
I will protect you.
I cannot go away from you: you attract me irresistibly; but I cannot come close to you.
You don’t notice me. You don’t care if I go or stay.
My being here doesn’t change you, but without you, I couldn’t live. I would roam without stability, without a home.
You are so great, I am nothing compared to you.
The more you are, the further I must be from you.
You spend time with the neutral, the boring, the useless. They only serve to add weight. They don’t change you. They don’t change me. All that changes me is you.
You make me peaceful and happy. As long as I have you, I am even.
I know you can’t leave where you are, and I have to travel. I travel so fast no one knows where I am. But I’ll always, only, come to you. Whenever I travel, you will always be there.
--From an electron to a proton.
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If you buy from me, there will be no charge.
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139,427 Literary Works • 672,561 Reviews
Lovely! the last line made me laugh, thinking that all this was just parts of an atom. I was seriously expecting a different ending. But I liked yours. You captured the escence of someone who is in-love, or dare I even say obsessed, with someone else. It was cliche, and sappy, and very sweet and sad. then you made it funny and all that much better.
So, great job, keep writing stuff like this!
This is so sweet and I love how you use the two science terms of electron and proton. That's way cool and it adds emphasis to the short story which to me seems as though it would better fit under the catergory of poetry but either catergory works really, and it was your choice anyway. I really saw the heartbreak and love in this poem as well as the sadness that revolves around the girl and how solitary the guy really seems. To me, it describes wanting a guy who doesn't want you back and striving to get that guy no matter what. But that's just my interpretation. You had your own and in this poem you held your own and it really did capture my attention. Great job and keep writing!!!